so imogen and i came up with this ridiculous term this weekend a "rolationship". it's a romantic relationship (hence the "ro" instead of the "re") as opposed to a platonic relationship. now, most people probably don't think there's a need for such a term. but i do. because essentially, aren't they the same thing? a rolationship (if you want to read the rest of this you're just going to have to accept this absurd term and move on) is basically just a relationship or friendship but plus some sex. hopefully a lot of sex.
i may not have a lot of experience with rolationships but i've got a bit, and i never liked anybody who i was supposedly in a rolationship with more than anybody that i'm in a relationship with. so the difference isn't there. it's not like we talked about anything super special that i couldn't have talked to any of my friends about so that's not the difference either. as far as i can see, the only difference is the sex/affection. i guess that's kind of a huge difference actually...
i dunno maybe it's hard for me to see the difference because i've always embroiled myself in these intense friendships which are much more like rolationships than relationships, (breakup and subsequent severing of all communication or awkward encounters included). i just have this (bad?) habit of finding someone, really liking them, and then spending ALL of my free time with them... it's not as extreme now as it was when i was younger, but there are still a few people who i must talk to everyday. not because i actually have anything new to say to them, just because if i don't talk to them i feel like i fucked up and owe someone an apology. but that's not quite right either because it's not really an obligation. i WANT to talk to them everyday.
i love that i have these great and intense friendships but along with it comes some shaky territory. like if you don't call your "special friends" (let's just call them that for now) enough then they begin to feel like a much neglected girlfriend, and no one wants to make anyone feel like that. and then if you get a new friend, you feel kind of like you're cheating on your special friend. and even if you don't actually feel like this, sometimes they make you feel like you are.
the other thing is, more and more, i'm beginning to realize that most people don't have what it is that i'm talking about. sure, they may have a best friend who they see more than most other people, and can tell anything, and talk to all the time, and so on; but most people save their "relationship" (in the traditional sense of the word, not in my definition of the word) behaviors for their "rolationships". maybe that's why i have these friendships. i have these feelings and behavior patterns that i need to get out but no outlet for them so i treat my relationships like rolationships.
that's probably it.
i think i need a boyfriend.
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